


The Floor is Lava

by SuperKat



Category: Floor is Lava (TV Show), She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Crack Crossover, F/F, F/M, Game Shows, Humor, If I can even use the word 'canon' in reference to this monstrosity, Post-Canon, Why Did I Write This?, let Glimmer say fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:54:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27088192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperKat/pseuds/SuperKat
Summary: The “Floor is Lava” crossover no one asked for.(Well.  One person did.  I hope you’re happy.)
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	The Floor is Lava

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caminante](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caminante/gifts).



> Yes, “Floor is Lava” is a game show on Netflix. This is what happens when you let us Millennials create TV shows. 
> 
> For my lovely and ridiculous wife, [caminante.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caminante/pseuds/caminante) Happy anniversary, you dork.
> 
> Warning: there is swearing. Noelle Stevenson believes that Glimmer would swear, and so do I. Also, there's no way Rogelio doesn't cuss _all the time_ given that no one can understand what he's saying.

“I can’t do it!”

“Seriously, Kyle? Just jump!”

Kyle clung to the edge of the swinging metal platform with trembling hands, shrieking and closing his eyes as a massive bubble of viscous, red liquid burst in front of him. Several feet away, Lonnie and Rogelio stood in the doorway, safe and sound at the end of the course. A small staircase in front of it, now down to one step, was gradually sinking into the glowing, frothing goo.

As the platform swung, Kyle looked over his shoulder at the massive metal chair looming over him, the stairs around it covered in red slime.

“Maybe I could find a different way,” he said, his voice trembling. “I could climb up to the throne…or maybe I could use the pillar…”

“There’s no time!” Lonnie cried. “Swing the platform and jump.”

Whimpering, Kyle jerked back and forth awkwardly, trying to rebuild the momentum he had lost. The platform started to swing again, but he could hear Rogelio let out a frustrated grunt. Kyle looked over just in time to see the last step vanish underneath the bubbling goo.

“I can’t do it!” Kyle’s voice cracked. “I’m gunna fall in!”

(Rogelio grunted a reply, knowing full well that neither of his teammates knew he was saying, “Probably.”)

“Just jump already!” Lonnie ran a hand through her hair. “We don’t have all day.”

Kyle took a deep breath. Sweat dripped down his temples and cheeks. He shifted until his feet were under him, the toes of his standard-issue sneakers just peeking over the edge. He waited until he swung close enough. Next swing. His hands gripped the ropes suspending the platform from the ceiling. Almost there…

His feet slipped, plunging him off the platform on the backswing. Kyle belly-flopped into the lava two feet from the exit. 

_“Oh no!_ ” boomed a man’s voice over the intercom. Rogelio and Lonnie facepalmed in near-perfect unison. After a moment, they remembered what they were supposed to say. 

“No,” said Lonnie, trying and failing to feign surprise. 

(Rogelio let out a dramatic series of grunts that no one knew meant, “I fucking told you!”)

“You know,” said Kyle with a small smile, just before he let the lava take him. “This stuff actually isn’t so bad.”

* * *

“Okay,” Catra broke the silence while they waited for the doors to open. “One more time: remind me why we’re doing this?”

“Team building!” Scorpia said. “Bonding activity! It’s the perfect Super Pal Trio reunion!”

Entrapta cupped her chin in a clump of hair, “Do you think once we’ve completed the course, they’ll give me the chemical compound for the fake lava? Or should I collect some samples while we’re in there?” 

Catra, who definitely didn’t want to know what Entrapta was planning, pressed her palms together in front of her face, taking a long, slow breath. _Be a better friend_ , she reminded herself. _I’m being a better friend._

“I’m so glad you two agreed to do this with me,” Scorpia continued. On the other side of the doors, Catra could hear the low, ominous rumble of something bubbling. Scorpia smiled, her eyes so full of hope and delight that Catra half-smiled back in spite of herself.

“Okay,” Catra returned her gaze to the door and its big red sign reading: ‘ **CAUTION: LAVA!** ’ “Lonnie and Rogelio made it across in just over six minutes-”

“Six minutes and seventeen seconds,” said Entrapta.

“Yes,” said Catra. _Deep breaths. Being a better friend._ “That. So. If all three of us make it across, we’ll be in first place. If not, we just have to get two people across faster than they did.”

“But,” Entrapta said as Scorpia nodded earnestly, “if the Best Friend Squad gets everyone across-”

“They won’t.” Catra shook her head. “No magic, no tech, remember? There’s no way Sparkles will manage the course without her glitter. Adora will probably make it, and Bow might, but we can definitely beat their time. Adora has never once beaten me in any race that didn’t involve food.” 

As was the norm these days, thinking about Adora brought a small heat to her cheeks. Catra smiled to herself. She was looking forward to holding this win over Adora’s head for a _long_ time.

The doors opened.

* * *

“Ninety-eight,” clap, “ninety-nine,” clap, “one hundred!” Adora rolled onto her back and took a moment to catch her breath. Glimmer collapsed mid-pushup with a grunt of relief. Bow finished his before doing the same. 

“Okay,” said Adora, “we can take a one-minute break before our next round.” Frowning to herself, she muttered, “Was it crunches next, or squats?”

“Adora,” said Bow as Glimmer clapped her hands over her eyes and wailed. “We’ve been at this for over an hour. Remember the agreement? One hour every morning, and one in the afternoon.”

“I know,” Adora sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just…our turn is _tomorrow_. Catra is _really_ _good_ at this type of thing, and if we aren’t in top shape, we won’t stand a chance against her.”

Glimmer cracked open an eye. “It’s not just about strength, remember? It’s about creativity and teamwork, too. We won’t know what the course will look like until we get there. There’s only so much we can prepare.”

Adora sighed again, her shoulders slumping. She closed her eyes, snapping them open again when she felt Bow and Glimmer at her side.

“No matter what happens,” said Bow, “the main point of this whole thing is to have fun. That’s why we’re doing this. A little friendly competition and a nice, low-stakes adventure with the three-person version of the Best Friend Squad.”

Adora closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded. Just as she was starting to relax, Bow’s tracker pad beeped and her eyes shot open, every muscle in her body instantly snapping to high alert.

“Catra said she was going to text me their results,” she said, frantically looking around for Bow’s tracker pad. “That’s probably her.”

Bow retrieved his tracker pad and looked at the screen. His eyes grew wide.

“What is it?” said Glimmer.

Wordless, Bow passed the tracker pad to Adora, who gasped. Glimmer took a peek over her shoulder.

“Holy _fuck._ ”

* * *

“Oh,” Scorpia whispered, her wide eyes taking in the massive red-lit chamber and its obstacles. “Oh boy. Oh wow.”

“ _Welcome_ ,” said a voice over the intercom. “ _To the Throne Room!_ ”

Out of the corner of her eye, Scorpia saw Entrapta kneel as if to inspect the gooey red slime glowing and bubbling from here to the doorway on the opposite side of the room. Catra grabbed Entrapta’s shoulder, hissing: “Focus.”

“So,” said Scorpia. “This. This is. What we’re doing. We have to…get across…this.” 

Fake lava gurgled underneath a curving path of floating platforms that couldn’t have been more than two feet wide apiece. It splashed the bottom of a net of metal piping along the wall to their immediate right, the stone pillars lining the wall opposite them, and the stack of…were those cushions from Bright Moon? And of course, no one could miss the massive metal throne looming over the center of the room, atop a square pyramid of what looked like _very_ narrow metal stairs. Already some of the lower tiers were soaked with bubbly red goo. 

“ _That’s right_ ,” said the voice, in a sing-song way that made Catra cringe. “ _There’s multiple ways to get across, and a few secrets that will help you if you can find them. And remember, don’t touch the floor, because the floor is…”_

“Lava!” Scorpia shouted, raising her arms. If nothing else, she could definitely bring the enthusiasm.

“A synthetic, viscous substance underlit to make it resemble lava!” Entrapta shouted. Catra didn’t say anything, which wasn’t surprising. It didn’t matter. At Scorpia’s cry, the lava churned and bubbled with massive bursts of red spray. 

“Oh boy,” Scorpia said again. “Oh-Okay.”

Already, Catra was calculating. Scorpia could see it in her eyes. Despite everything, Scorpia had missed that expression. 

“Okay,” said Catra, “I’ll take the right wall. It looks like there’s one of those bell-pull things over there,” she pointed, and Scorpia saw a thick rope dangling from the ceiling. “I don’t know what that does, but they said the secrets will help us. Entrapta, Scorpia, you take the platforms. See if you can get to the throne, but keep an eye out for…” She cut herself off with a frown. 

“I’m sorry,” Catra said. Scorpia gasped, and even Entrapta looked at her with surprise. “I shouldn’t be giving you orders.”

“No, no,” Scorpia assured her. “You’re right about all that. It’s just…I have a slightly different idea.” Catra nodded. Heart pounding, Scorpia said, “So…the Best Friend Squad isn’t going to get three people across this, right?”

Catra scoffed, grinning. “No way.”

“So all that matters is getting two people across in the fastest time?”

Catra narrowed her eyes at Scorpia. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying,” Scorpia took a deep breath. “That I love you both, and I’m so glad you agreed to do this with me.”

“Wait…”

Scorpia jumped into the lava.

* * *

“This is ridiculous,” Glimmer said for the fourth time while they waited for the doors to open. Bow resisted an urge to wrap an arm around her shoulders. “There’s _no_ _way_ we’re going to beat their time. A minute and a half? Seriously?”

“One minute and thirty-four seconds,” said Adora, her voice flat, her eyes staring ahead listlessly. Glimmer swore again, gripping her hair in both hands.

“I _knew_ I should have pushed for Entrapta to wear a hairnet. They had an unfair advantage.”

“And what would they have done for Catra?” Adora’s voice was low, resigned.

“I dunno,” Glimmer sighed. “Make her wear shoes? If I can’t use _any_ magic, they should have at least done _something_. Did you know that Scorpia said they only took _‘that long’_ ” Glimmer held up air quotes, narrowing her eyes like she was about to murder someone, “because Entrapta kept trying to take samples of the lava? And because Catra got… _slimed_?” Glimmer shuddered. “Whatever that means. How are we possibly going to beat them?”

“Simple.” Bow rested one hand each on Adora and Glimmer’s shoulders. He put as much calm reassurance into his tone as he possibly could. “Best Friend Squad style. We work together, and get everyone across. No team has gotten all three members across, so it doesn't matter how long we take, as long as we all make it.”

Adora nodded, a small gleam returning to her eye. “Right. We do this together. No princess left behind.”

“Or,” Bow shrugged. “Y’know. Me.”

Adora smiled at him. “Counting you.”

Bow gasped. “Counting…me?” His voice caught and he could feel the back of his eyes stinging. Was she calling him a….?

Glimmer rested a head on his shoulder and he turned to see her smiling at him.

“Always counting you.”

The double doors swung open just as Bow was wiping tears from his eyes. All three of them gasped at the sight.

“Oh _fuck,_ ” Glimmer said again.

* * *

“Okay,” said Adora, scanning the room. “There’s a bell-pull about halfway down the right wall. I’ll go that way and see what it does.”

“Glimmer and I can take this path here,” Bow pointed to the curved metal platforms hovering above the bubbling lava.

“I bet there’s something hidden on the other side of those cushions,” Glimmer said. “I’ll climb up to the throne. I’ll have a good view of the room from up there.”

Adora nodded. Within seconds, she was halfway to the bell-pull, climbing and shimmying along a network of dark green, not-actually-metal pipes that lined the wall. 

Bow stepped between the floating platforms with relative ease, but Glimmer clenched her teeth, watching him. This was exactly the kind of thing she had _never_ had to do. How did people just _move through_ physical space like that? It seemed unnatural.

“You can do it,” Bow called over his shoulder, as if reading her thoughts. “I believe in you!”

Glimmer clenched her fists, let out a wordless cry, and leapt, relieved and not a little surprised when she landed safely – though unsteadily – on the first platform. 

She caught Bow smiling at her. Glimmer smiled back, a small heat rising in her cheeks. 

When Glimmer was about halfway to the pyramid, Adora reached the bell-pull and tugged on it. One of the pillars tipped sideways and toppled into the lava with a splash that made Bow and Glimmer shriek, shielding their faces from the spray. It bobbed to the top after half a second.

 _“Congratulations_!” cried the voice on the intercom. “ _You’ve unlocked one of the secrets of the Throne Room. Now you have another way to get across._ ”

“But,” said Bow. “It’s round. And it’s _covered_ in slime.”

 _“Lava_ ,” said the voice.

“Fine,” said Bow. “Lava. Still. Why would _anyone_ go that way?”

Before the voice could reply, Adora shouted, “Don’t worry, I got this!” in exactly the tone that made Bow and Glimmer worry. They turned to see her dangling from the ceiling, holding onto a coil of what looked like thick wires.

“Adora!” cried Bow as Adora reached for another loop in front of her, shrieking when she nearly lost her hold. “Are you sure that’s best the way to go?”

“It’s the fastest!” Adora grunted, adjusting her grip. “And I’m fine. I just… need… to…”

Glimmer tore her gaze away and focused on getting to the pyramid. It was dicey, but she managed, even when a burst of slime exploded the instant her feet touched the bottom step. It covered her from head to toe in viscous red goo.

“Ugh!” she cried, spitting and rubbing her eyes. “It’s warm! That’s so gross! Why is it _warm_?”

“Glimmer!” Bow cried. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Glimmer set her eyes on the throne and scrambled to the top. It really was a good vantage point. Adora was still holding onto the ceiling wires, trying to swing her way to a replica of a Horde Bot. Even for her, it looked too far. No sense in trying to tell _her_ that, though. Glimmer scanned the room. 

“There!” she called to Bow. “On the other side of that pile of cushions.”

A decent likeness of her dad’s staff hung on the wall. Bow struggled to keep his footing on the cushions, but he wrested the staff from the wall easily. As he stumbled backwards to avoid another lava-burst, Glimmer scanned the room, keeping one ear out for Adora’s steady grunts. 

Farther down the wall from Bow, she saw it. Someone had painted a circular pattern like a sorcerer’s spell. It wasn’t a specific one, rather a generic pattern included in every spell intended to give aid. Just underneath it, the small wooden platform that framed that stretch of wall stuck out a little farther than the rest. Bow found it easily with her direction, gripping the staff in one hand and plunging into the floor the way she – and Micah – had done many times. 

The Horde bot split open at the top, opening like a flower. Inside it was a small, shining replica of the Moonstone.

With the distance nearly halved, Adora landed on the nearest petal easily. She collapsed against the fake Moonstone, panting as Bow and Glimmer cheered.

“ _Now who has an unfair advantage?_ ” the voice on the intercom asked. Glimmer grinned.

Leaving the staff in its slot, Bow shimmied along the wall frame and leapt toward the exit with a shriek. He made it, but barely, stumbling on the bottom step before landing safely on his hands and knees. 

Glimmer and Adora whooped, but their next steps were still unclear. Even from the edge of the closest petal, there was no way Adora could jump to the pyramid, and _definitely_ no way for her to reach the exit. Glimmer, too, was trapped. She could maybe reach the pillar, but she wouldn’t keep her footing on that death-trap for more than a second. She doubted that anyone – except maybe Catra – could.

“Check out the throne!” Bow called from the doorway. “Maybe something there will help.”

“Good idea.” Glimmer poked and patted the huge metal chair on all sides. At last, a panel came loose, revealing a circular crank. “Hello. What do you do?”

It was much harder to turn than it looked. A grinding sound filled the room, and Adora cried out, pointing to the ceiling. There, between her and the exit, hung a long, metal platform suspended by ropes. Glimmer tried to turn the crank faster, but still the platform descended agonizingly slowly.

“Hurry!” Bow cried. “The stairs are going to start sinking soon.”

“Wow,” Adora said, frowning and tilting her head. “Has it been five minutes already?”

Glimmer gritted her teeth, adjusting her grip one more time. “I’m," turn, "really," turn, "glad," turn, "I did," turn, "all those," turn, "pushups!” 

Finally, the crank stopped moving. The platform hovered about two feet above the lava. 

“I’ll hold it while you climb on,” Adora said. Glimmer nodded. Her hands and arms were shaking, but she managed it. Adora, of course, clambered on easily.

“Do you want to go first or should I?” she asked.

“Definitely you,” said Glimmer, panting. “I need to catch my breath.”

Adora made her way past Glimmer to the opposite end of the platform. It hovered several feet from the exit, but when they moved to make it swing, the gap closed considerably. Adora jumped on the upswing and landed in the doorway with only a slight wobble. She and Bow hugged. 

Glimmer started to punch the air in delight, but froze, her smile vanishing.

The stairs to the exit had begun to quiver and shake. Already, lava was soaking the bottom step.

“Glimmer, hurry!” shouted Bow, as if that was supposed to help. As if she didn’t _know_ she was running out of time. As if she didn’t _know_ that every second she put this off made the final leap more difficult.

“I have a confession to make!” Glimmer cried as she crawled along the platform. “I never thought I was going to make it across!” Bow and Adora looked at her in confusion. “I was going to sacrifice myself so you two could make it with a good time, but then Scorpia did that, and now I’ve ruined everything! I shouldn’t have done this with you. I should have-”

“Glimmer.” 

Glimmer looked up to see Bow watching her with that steady smile he always reserved just for her.

“You’ve got this,” he said, his voice soft. “And we’ve got you.”

He and Adora stretched their arms toward her. Glimmer took a deep breath, let out a roar, and leapt.

Her foot caught the top step moments before it vanished into the lava. It was enough; Bow and Adora grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her forward, Glimmer’s momentum knocking them all to the floor. 

No one moved right away. After a moment of stunned silence, they climbed to their feet together, hugging and laughing and screaming into each others’ arms.

“I cannot,” Glimmer panted, “believe. That worked.”

 _“Congratulations!”_ said the voice on the intercom. _“You have won ‘The Floor is Lava’! Come on up to get your prize!”_

“Gladly,” Glimmer said. She shared a grin with Bow and Adora. Taking them each by the arm, she teleported them away.

* * *

“Gross,” Catra clawed at her forearm, cringing. “How do I _still_ have slime in my fur?”

“Lava,” Bow corrected her. Catra fixed him with a glare that could have turned a civilian to stone. Bow, however, simply laughed.

“Whatever,” she grumbled, plopping down on a cushion between Adora and Scorpia. “It’s disgusting. I’m never doing that again. Not unless there’s _real_ lava next time.”

“Really?” Adora raised an eyebrow, smugness dripping out of her pores. “I thought you’d want a rematch. Y’know, because of how _we beat you_?” Catra glowered, but even she couldn’t hold her grumpy expression when Adora laughed and kissed her cheek.

“I am so sorry,” Scorpia said to Glimmer for the tenth time. “I underestimated you. That was really unfair of me.”

Glimmer shrugged. “I underestimated me too. I guess we all learned something.”

“And hey,” said Adora, grinning at Catra, “at least you beat Kyle.” She snort-laughed as Catra pushed her away, growling, _“Do not_.”

“I know they left yesterday,” said Bow, looking around the room, “But what about Entrapta? She didn’t stay?”

“She took a sample of the lava to her lab,” said Scorpia. “I don’t think she was supposed to, but somehow she got a beaker full of it. She said she wanted to analyze it right away.”

Silence, for a moment.

“Do we want to know?” said Adora.

Glimmer sighed, “No, but we should probably check in on her soon. Just…in case.”

The others murmured their agreement.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Floor is Lava [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28737210) by [aether (ThatAloneOne)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatAloneOne/pseuds/aether), [allysseriordan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allysseriordan/pseuds/allysseriordan), [caminante](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caminante/pseuds/caminante), [Jet_pods (Jetainia)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jetainia/pseuds/Jet_pods), [lysandyra (pxssnelke)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pxssnelke/pseuds/lysandyra)




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